How so?
by brina monster
Summary: It has become a routine for Ponyboy to go for a walk and end up with Johnny. He has so much on his mind, and Johnny isn't making it easier for him. PonyboyxJohnny
1. Chapter 1

How so?

Chapter 1: It only started as a dream

_Ponyboy Curtis is my name and this is the story of how I fell in love with my friend Johnny Cade._

I woke up one morning not knowing what time it was, I could see that the sun wasn't up yet so I tried to go back to sleep beside Soda but couldn't. I had too much on my mind to be thinking of sleeping, so I decided to go for a walk. A little fresh air might do me some good.

As I pulled on my clothes I noticed Soda talking in his sleep "Mmhmm, chocolate cake… ". I smiled; Soda loved chocolate cake, so my brother Darry always made sure there was some in the fridge.

Walking out through the house as quiet as I could I checked the time, the clock said it was 4:52am. Darry would've killed me if he knew I was going to go for a walk this late, but I just needed to be able to think. I decided that I should go to the park and have a smoke or a cancer stick as the gang liked to call it.

When I finally made it to the park I notice that Johnny was sitting on a swing, and it looked like he was in a fight with his father. How I hated his parents for treating him like he was worthless.

"Hey Johnnycakes, what are you doing out so late with no coat, you'll catch your death", trying to strike up a conversation with him to take my mind off my own train of thoughts.

"Oh yeah Pony, I could ask you the same thing" Johnny looked up from the swing he was sitting on. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I just had to go for a walk…" I said as I walked over to the swing next to him. "You know Darry well be awfully mad if he knows you've been walking around so late" Johnny said as he lit up a cancer stick.

I frowned, "He'll only know if you don't keep your mouth shut." This surprised Johnny and me both. The gang and I both knew that Johnny would easily take things to the heart. "I'm sorry Johnny, You know I never meant to say that, I-I'm just tired and grumpy that's all"

"It's okay Pony, I didn't mean to make it look like I was going to tell on ya" He gave me a shy smile and then handed me the cancer stick, and then there was an awkward silence.

"Say johnnycakes would you want to sleep at my place, that is if you want to and all?" I changed the subject, and smiled to Johnny as he looked over at me.

"You think your brothers wouldn't mind waking up to see me on the couch?" I smiled, "None at all, I mean you're welcome whenever you want, that is why we keep our door unlocked. I mean I remember one morning waking up and seeing Tim Sheppard on the couch." I waved my hands in the air to make it more dramatic.

"Yeah, okay then I'll go to your place" He smiled one of his rare smiles, which made my heart flutter. _Why am I feeling like this?_ I though, then putting it aside thinking it was just because I was tired.

I put my arm over Johnny's shoulder as we started walking towards my house. I hushed him as we started walking up the steps and opened the door as quietly as possible and thanked god that Darry and Soda weren't up.

Johnny walked over to the couch and lied down putting his arm under his head while the other hung off the couch; I pulled out a blanket from the hallway closet and gave it to him. "Thanks Ponyboy, G'night" he yawned, I smiled at the thought that he would get a better sleep here then he would at his house, "Yeah Good night Johnnycakes".

As I walked back to Soda's and my room, I couldn't help but feel the same fluttering in my heart. I looked down the hall to see the end of the couch where Johnny's feet were and then pushed all the thoughts I had to the back of my head. Walked into the room and lied down next to Sodapop, as he wrapped his arm around me and said "mmm, Pony pass the chocolate cake".

I sighed and smiled as I fell deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. I can't remember how it happened but Johnny was on top of me, smiling and whispering something I couldn't hear. I was wondering what was going on. Johnny then looked me in the eyes and put his hand behind my neck, pushing our faces closer. Then he brought me into a passionate kiss, I lied still shocked, wondering if it was a dream or not. Johnny then took his free hand and rested it upon my chest; my heart started beating faster and faster as his hand traveled lower and lower until it was at my waistband of my boxers. I was so shock, not because it was Johnny but because I was enjoying it.

I woke up covered in sweat, I looked around, and soda's arm was still around me. _It was only a dream... a dream about Johnny kissing me and touching me…_

"Mmm, Pony what are you doing? go back to bed", Soda said tiredly before yawning and Turning the other way so his back was to Ponyboy. Pony just lied there staring at the ceiling, finally falling into a dreamless sleep.

**Note: This is my first story. and I don't want to write to much because I want to know what you think about it first, before I continue on (: **


	2. Chapter 2

How so?

Chapter 2: Mornin' sweetheart

I felt someone shaking me, so I tried covering myself with a blanket but failed as that someone took it away from me. I got up to see who it was thinking it was Soda trying to take all the blankets from me.

"Morning pony how was your night?" Steve laughed and sat on the end of the bed looking at the doorway as Soda pop walked in, and looked at his baby brother still in bed.

"Mornin' buttercup, you're lucky it's the weekend, Darry wouldn't have let you sleep in so late". I sighed into my pillow as I just remembered last night.

"Hey Soda, is Johnny still here?" Thinking he might still be sitting in the living area.

"Oh no, He said he had to go home but he'll come back later on today". Soda looked over to Steve, who was looking back at him with a smile. _Uurgh, I better get out before they get all lovey-dovey. _

Soda and Steve have been secretly dating for a while now. Secret because no one around here likes gays, so they'd skin them if anyone ever found out. I know because I had to come home when I was going to go for a walk. I didn't expect anyone to be home, but then I heard some noises from Soda's and my room, and there they were, making out.

It wasn't anything hardcore, but I was afraid it would, so I decided to make some noise in the kitchen. They stopped and asked what I saw, and pleaded me to keep it a secret. So I am.

Closing the door I walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast just as Dally walked in. "Hey kid, got a cancer stick?" handing him the pack from the table as I turned around looking through the fridge.

"So, where Johnny, heard he slept here last night?" Hearing Johnny's name made me blush lightly; I tried not to let Dally see.

"Yeah he slept here left before I woke up, said he'll be back after" I tried concentrating on the eggs I was cooking but was failing on the account that Dally was still talking about Johnny and I was remembering last night's dream.

"Whoa! Ponyboy, watch out for your breakfast!" Soda came out of the room with Steve, turning off the oven while Steve put the pan in the sink.

"Dammit Ponyboy, you could've burn down the house! And what the hell Dally, didn't you notice that" Soda said as he waved his hands in front of his face to blow away the smoke.

"I'm sorry Soda, I was thinking about something" I looked at the pan in the sink.

"Yeah okay, but be careful next time, you know Darry well kill us both" He walked into the living room with Steve and Dally right behind him, and they started watching TV.

I decided to go for a walk. _A walk would do me some good, Clear my head._ As I walked to the store to buy some gum, I noticed that there were a bunch of socs driving around the corner, so I hurriedly walked into the store hoping that they didn't see me. I waited for five minutes then the store clerk kicked me out. It looked like I was in the clear, but then again you can never be too careful around these parts.

"Hey Pony nice seeing you here" Someone putting a hand on my shoulder, jumping a little before I turned around I saw that it was Johnny.

"Oh uhh.. Hey Johnnycakes. Where were you heading to?" Looking around to make sure that those socs weren't anywhere nearby. The coast was clear so I focused more on what Johnny was saying to me.

"I told your brother I was coming back to see you?" Remembering what Soda told me, I blushed as the memory of the dream crept back into my mind.

"Hey you okay? You're looking kinda red" Johnny brought his face so close I could taste his breath. My breath caught and I pushed him away, pushing a little too hard.

"Whooa," Johnny said as he fell to the ground. "Dammit Pony what that was for? I was only going to check your forehead!" Johnny got up and dusted himself off.

"I-im really sorry Johnny, you just caught me off guard" I helped him up and bit my lower lip, something I only did when I was nervous.

"Why were you caught off guard It's not like I was going to kiss you or anything" Johnny shook his head then smiled as he forgave me. "Com'n lets go to your place then" he started walking as I started following behind him slightly, giving him some side glances then and again.

As we got to my house Steve was just leaving, he looked a little bit mad so I wondered if they had had an argument. Johnny looked at Steve walking away, "See you later Steve" he said as he waved goodbye. "Yeah see you later…" Steve walked down the road muttering to himself.

"Knock Knock! Hello Soda I'm home and Johnny came here with me" Saying as we walking into the living room. I walked into Soda's and my room to find him lying down in the blankets staring at the ceiling.

"Hey what's wrong Soda? Is everything okay with you and Steve?" I sat on the bed next to Soda.

"Yeah everything couldn't be better" saying it sarcastically he looked at me. "what happened?" the question was ignored for 5 minutes before he decided to answer it. As I was getting up to go, Soda spoke quietly acknowledging that Johnny was in the house.

"He said he heard rumors about me and some girl named Annie were going out, I told him we were only friends and that she must have started the rumors. He said some stuff, I said some stuff, he left, and I stayed here." He finished with a sigh.

A minute later Johnny walked in, "Hey is everything okay?" I smiled at him "Yeah everything's o-"I was about to say when, "NO EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY!" Soda interrupted. He must have been really angry about this.

"Johnny I'm sorry to have to yell at you and Pony" He looked at our shocked faces as he got up and announced he was going for a walk.

A while after Soda had left us, we watched TV, Darry walked in. "Hey Pony, Hey Johnny."

"Hey" we said in union which also made us say "Pop jinx!" then we laughed.

"You guys are weird" Darry said as he shook his head and smirked. "So where's soda?"

"He went for a walk" pausing for a less than I minute I wonder if I should tell him that Soda and Steve had a fight. I decided yes, "he and Steve had a fight, then me a Johnny came in and Steve left."

"Well I'll go look for him you stay here in case he comes back okay?" He got his jacket and took off. Then me an Johnny were alone making up small conversations as we waited for Soda or Darry to come back.

"Hey pony" I answer him by tiredly looking at him "Yea?" He doesn't answer for two minutes so I start to wonder if he even heard me.

"Today you know by the store, why were you all shaken up?" He looked over at me with curious eye. "Oh I saw some socs driving around and I thought they still would have been around when I bumped into you" Then there was silence as we watched the TV.

I guess I fell asleep because Johnny woke me up "Mornin sweetheart, Darry and Soda are going to be back soon and I am going to go", I was still half asleep so I did catch most of what he had said. "Okay, see you tomorrow Johnny" saying with a yawn. "Yeah see you tomorrow Ponyboy have a sweet dream" I was too tired to look at him instead before I knew it I was dreaming about Johnny kissing me again. But I wasn't asleep because I didn't feel like I was asleep, probably half asleep.

Before I could react he was leaving the house, and I went back into unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

How so?

Chapter 3: Wait, when did I ever?

I hate mornings, especially school mornings, you always have to wake up early and get ready. Well this morning was like any other school morning, though it seemed different, probably because I was still tired and wondering if it was a dream that my friend kissed me or if it was the real thing.

"Hey Ponyboy wake up, almost time for you to get goin' to school" Darry popped his head through the doorway. "Yeah yeah, hey where's Sodapop?" asking though I know he probably is in the living room eating chocolate cake. "He's watching some toons on the TV" Darry answered as he walked down the hallway of our small house.

Walking down the road to school I see Dally walkin' down the road. "Hey Dally... Uh how come you up so early?" Startling him a bit he turns around and looks at me grinning "Ohh hey pony, how's it going! And what do ya mean early? Don't you mean late? I mean how come you out so late ain't Darry gunna skin you or something? Ya digg'!" He said with a childish grin, so I could obviously tell he was drunk.

"Nah actually it's early, I mean I'm heading to school" I finished saying but had a feeling that he didn't catch most of what I was just saying. "School that ol' wise crack, I haven't been there since I got suspended…" He started counting with his fingers, but I didn't have the time for this.

"Hey dally I'll talk to you later, I have to get going" He looked at me confused but decided to let me go. I found out that school can go by slow and torturous when there is only one thing, well what a certain person did to you while you were half asleep. So when the bell finally rang, I picked up my stuff as fast as I could without dropping anything and walked as fast as I could home.

"Hey Pony boy! You got a light?" Two-bit was smiling with a cancer stick in between his lips, though somehow still able to stay in place. "Hey two-bit how's it going?" giving him a smile then giving him my lighter. "So I heard that the socs are driving in our territory more than usual" He gave me this it-my-friend-is-not-normal look. "Yeah I heard that too, I have to get home" in a rush to go find Johnny.

"Yeah see you and best be staying away from them socs" He turned and walked away, then I realized he still has my lighter, but I guess I could get that back some other time.

"Hey pony" I walked into my house being greeted by Steve, so I guessed that him and Soda had patched things out then."Hey Steve, where's Sodapop?" I looked around seeing Soda pop his head out from our room smiling then went back.

"Hey Pony come here, I want to tell you something!" I became weary of the sounds of voice.

"Don't worry Pony; he just kinda had too much chocolate cake to eat." Steve said from his spot on the couch. I turned and walked towards him, as I walked into the room he I wasn't in front of me as I thought he might be, instead he tackled me from behind onto the bed.

"Haha hey pony took ya long enough" He sat down and then pulled out a piece of paper, "Look at what I found under the bed when I was lookin' for some socks" He smirked and pasted the paper to me, as I looked it over I could feel him gazing at me.

_Pretty sure it was a dream, but ask Johnny about the kiss. _

My heart froze as I tried to remember writing this. "Wait when did I ever… I-I don't remember writing this.. Why can't I remember writing this?" I kept thinking back to last night.

"You think Johnny kissed you?" Soda was smirking but there was something in his eyes that I couldn't put my finger on.

"uhh…" I didn't know how to answer him, but I guess the truth was always the best way to go. "Yeah I think so, I mean I was half asleep last night, and.. yea, but I don't remember writing this on this paper…" looking to my second eldest for advice he just sat there taking it all in.

"I guess I would have to say talk to him" He smiled and lied back on the bed. Just then Steve came in saying he was going to go home for the night, then Soda get pouty and said it was so early and that he'd go with him to his place and they could hang out. I walked with them half way to Steve's house seeing that he still thought of me Soda's kid brother taggin' along.

Making an announcement of my leaving, Soda told me to be careful and watch out for myself. I walked down a familiar road and walked down it in a daze. _Did I really dream Johnny kissing me, I mean I had a dream about Johnny… touching. So maybe it was a dream, I dream that felt so real. What would Darry say if he knew I was thinking like this and not on my studies, and what was Soda thinking about earlier... _"Uurgh there's just so much unanswered questions!" Getting angry at the space in front of my a I hear someone chuckle so I turn my head to the side.

"Hey pony, why you gettin' all angry at the air?" Johnny sitting on a swing smiled. _Okay don't freak out, just tell him. _"I didn't mean to make it seem like I was getting angry at the air…" There was a silence as he swung himself a little. "Say Johnny, if I asked you something would you tell me the truth, and try not to freak out?" I asked shyly biting my lower lip. He looked up at me with a curious smile and nodded his head slowly "Yeah Pony, I'd tell you the truth always, and I don't think you could freak me out easily"

Still biting my lip I was thinking of how to say this the right way, then I thought that this just tell him straight up because I wanted to get it over and done with. "Okay Johnny last night did you kiss me?" I held my breath without thinking about it as Johnny just looked at me but was silent.

He stood up and came closer to me putting his hand on my shoulder looking into my eyes.

"Ponyboy you can take a breath you know! And for the question" He moved his hand behind my neck then pulled my closer into a rough kiss that only lasted for 10 seconds. When he pulled away I lost my breath again.


End file.
